thank you to all you friends, family, and strangers of oscar for your kind kind words. it makes me so happy for oscar to read all of them. yesterday i dug a grave for my little pig. i kept putting it off this week. the ground was too frozen. we needed the tractor. i made excuses because i wanted to postpone the finality of a burial. i wanted to still be able to look at him. of course it is unrealistic to keep him unburied. so yesterday i made myself do it. on my own. frozen ground be damned. i dug for a couple hours in the cold afternoon sun with 2 turkeys and a cat standing idly by. and it felt good and beautiful... in a macabre sense. like it was one last thing i could do for him. nick came down and helped me bury him. we collected big rocks to mark his grave and i put a bouquet of dried flowers on top of those. i'm still so inconsolably sad about oscar. i try not to show it, i don't want to alarm nick or rudy or the cats. but i am. i'm glad to have him buried. it was a needed cathartic closure for me. but i miss him. he was a good pig.