fridge at 11:29pm: i wish there were more to my fridge than PBR, cake, and cabbage...sadly there is not.
i'm totally WIRED when i get back home from a day...or two...in the city. and it can't possibly be the delayed effects of the one kombucha i chugged. wired as in lying in bed and telling a sleeping nick all of the things i have forgotten to do as they come to me. telling him about the friend i made over breakfast. telling him about older gentleman who has me call him when his favorite mushrooms come to the farmstore. telling him that there are 198 steps in the porter square t station. wired as in getting up and out of bed a handful of times in 20 minutes walking in fastforward motion through the dark apt in my underwear while doing speed stretching. trying to relax. totally jazzed. my body is a ball of frenetic energy after my city-time. all i want to do is stop and take a hot shower and stretch and stretch and drink 20 gallons of water and eat a spot of cake and sleep. but my mind wants to be here on the computer. on the web. connected. wired in. thinking of tomorrow. thinking of the train ride. the t-ride. the very very very quick and brisk and chilled walk from the station to the store. thinking of all the store produce and all the orders to coordinate. thinking of the chicken waterer nick wants to build. how to itterate and change and make better and modify it with him but from afar.

our farmstore manager is sipping cervezas in panama for the next 10 days and i unwittingly became fill-in manager.  which means 99%farmstore 1%farm for the next 10 days. i cannot possibly continue as this careening ball of nervous twitches. i must breathe. find peace in the city. drop the shoulders. stretch out the neck. find some warm slippers for the farmstore. and start getting over this neurotic city self.

how do you relax in a city? i think i've forgotten how to live like a 21st century modern being.

so tomorrow morning game plan:
arise with sun.
ignore forming dread in southern region of hair for at least one more day.
hot shower/hot yoga.
cuppa no-caffeine tea.
breakfast of pea shoots, fried eggs, and mushrooms with nick.
piece of cake. it isn't a proper meal without a proper sweet conclusion.
ride into big scary sweaty nervous city with book and warm, proper, clothes.

the day will be met with serenity and calm.  i will conquer these city nerves.


  1. you are cute. always fun to read what you write.

  2. I hope the next 10 days will not be too stressful for you. And your cake looks very delicious!

  3. Chamomile tea. In the middle of the day--that how I stay relaxed in the city. Oh and getting enough physical exercise that my body can go to sleep at night. Good luck the next 10 days!

  4. hello,
    that nervous energy is so hard to chill out. so. hard. the only thing that worked for me when i was teaching was going on a run as soon as i got home. but that doesn't sound fun at 11pm in boston wintertime. . .

    on another note, here is an pretty badass chicken waterer made by small scale farmers in virginia



  5. I'm so glad I found your blog! I loved reading this because I too am feeling totally jazzed right now. But it's not from the city, not sure what from really. (Although the city would be a fun break...) Lots of ideas and energy and connectedness going on here. All I wanna do is talk about my master plan that involves sheep shearing and garden plans and a chicken tractor we need to build! Rambling!

  6. i am always so inspired by your blog...thick and thin. we dream of one day escaping the hustle and bustle of even small town life, trading it in for an even smaller community with our own small farm and garden. happy life!

  7. if it makes you feel any better, I've been finding dreds in my hair too... In fact, I'm getting a haircut in a few weeks and I've been trying to comb out as many dreds as possible before then, so I don't embarrass myself at the salon. I would cut them off myself, but I don't want to damage my hair with the wrong scissors.


  8. First of all, I really enjoy reading your blog. It reminds me of growing up in rural Virginia, when my Momma & Daddy decided to move there from upstate NY and "go back to the land" and all that hippie-dippy so on and so forth.

    It makes sense, the nervous energy, I have a lot of it since I've left VA and moved to Chicago. Try to feed off of it, let it make you more creative, and enjoy the stories it gives you to tell. I think the only way to find a calm rhythm in the city is to live there for years until you just get used to it, the fun of visiting is IN that energy it lets you borrow.

  9. Good luck this week! I know it will be a long ten days. I'm also craving a farm and having my hands in dirt and animals running about. Winter is no fun.

  10. i totally hear you on this. we just moved from the woods/ pasture to the city, and it's taking a toll on me. super exciting and convenient, but such an adjustment! and i too am up all hours of the night remembering what i need to do, making lists, and listing to trains go by. it's so much harder to sleep in the city..


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