auf wiedersehen

today is my last blog day. i've decided to come to a slow, undignified, unglorified stop on the blog. i have found that i don't like the way it plays into my life. it stems from a conversation with my best friends this october. about how to blog in a genuine way. how to not look at events in your life and let how will i blog this get in the way of experiencing the event in the present, in its fullest.

i have come to the conclusion, that, as hard as i try, i feel the twinge of the blog seeping into my daily goings on. i love to share with you all my life on the farm, in france, in california....but i don't want that sharing to come in between my enjoyment and love of every second i have on this land, with these animals. so, i will stop. i will move on to the old ways of sharing moments and words....back to gmail and facebook photos and real paper letters,  back to my monthly photo albums sent to my aged p's, i'm also starting a diary. starting today. that i hope i can give the same amount of attention to, that i gave to my blog. but i won't have an audience. there ought not be any pressure or any angle. just pure me.

i have loved what the blog as given me. i have made so many friends through this. nick and i have an almost daily account of our lives for the past year & 1/2. i started taking pictures, lots of them, some of them half decently....but its just not for me anymore.

so, thank you all for reading. if you're ever wondering what i'm up to,  you can probably just picture me here, on the farm...or on one in new england...or one in california....or maybe in the alps. but its a safe bet  i'll be somewhere on the land, with an insufferably cute animal in my arms. with nick by my side. catch me through email [kathryn.maclean@gmail.com] or facebook or snail mail.

here are some last blog pictures. nick and i and rudy. enjoying a valentines day picnic yesterday. in one of the old houses in the sheep pen. i made him a squash apple soup, chicken liver paté, and a red velvet cake. with beer to wash it down. 

bye!

rudy & i are at the end of our rope

nick was gone for the last five days. which is why you barely heard boop from us all this time. rudy and i have been working like dogs....pardon, my french rudy.

the farm is a lot to handle without nick. but i was prepared. i had done it before, over thanksgiving. but the home farm. that is where things got chaotic. farm + home farm is too much for one lady. all of the animals survived nick's absence. and i dare say i managed to keep their happiness levels up to par too. but i was hanging on by a thread. and if you look carefully at my kitchen and at my person you can see the damage. i ate mostly toast and beer and cereal while he was gone. a massive dread at the back of my head started to form on thursday and is now full blown...i will have to either warmly and graciously accept it or cut it out.  i still have mud along the line where my boots meet my leggings. (rudy and i must shower before he comes home) a splinter in my right index fingernail that i haven't had the time or patience to get out has caused a crook in said finger.

i'm glad he got a little break from me and the farm and our animals. it was appallingly overdue. but i miss him. and i want/need him back.

also, rudy hates when i do self portraits of the two of us. it bores him to tears. this explains the yawn...the glare...and finally the walk-off. what a prima donna.  but i thought you'd all like my pajama-outfit for my day off. 

coco puffs make good company

i get away with absolute murder while nick is gone. cocoa puffs! for breakfast and lunch. big bowls. beer to wash it all down. honestly he couldn't come back any sooner, before i thoroughly rot my teeth. so happy to pick him up tonight.

in other news....i've opened up the summer bedroom again. its just warm enough during the day. and good sweet lord the morning, afternoon, and evening light in there is too lovely. i'm making it my kate-room. sewing table. typewriter. all my paints and knitting and toys.

my comeuppance.

just in case any of my friends up north thought my last post obnoxiously bragging (about the warm unseasonable weather) well.....it looks, stall as i might with tea & toast....that i will be doing chores in the sleeting rain this friday morning.

spring is springing

throughout highschool...and university...and then banking and facebook....i always stressed out when i saw a nice day on the weather channel that was going to occur on a weekday. it made me sick with nerves to think i was going to miss any part of that nice day being in a classroom or in front of my desk. the farm is the first job i've ever had where i get to, well rather have to, be outside all day, everyday. and i have to say, its glorious.

i know most of you are covered in snow or slush right now and thanking the lord you don't work outside. i sure have wished for a desk job on more than one occasion when i was breaking animal waters with a sopping wet hand on a 20 degree day. but, all i mean to say is that i've never been happier.

get on with yourself you horrid winter

oh this is why we have spent the last several years avoiding northeast winters. while many of my dear loved ones are bracing themselves for their umpteenth snowstorm this winter, we, in north carolina, are frolicking in the spring of early february. tomorrow...they are calling for a high of 66. i'm sorry its such poor form to brag. but here i am bragging again about sunshine and warmth.

to be fair. we deserve it, we have been working outside throughout this wretched cold december and january. i have been told by everyone that the temps will 'ying yang' or 'yo yo' or 'noodle doodle'. that's o.k. by me. as long as the warmth...the sunshine...the freshness is starting, then that is all i need.

weekend-of-spring pictures...


1. sweet darling melissa's ferns in the laundry room just about made my sunday morning
2.  it was finally warm enough to line dry this weekend....so rudy got his bedding washed (and then promptly and somewhat mysteriously spread doublemint gum all through it)
3. i am pleased to say that cadbury mini eggs are making their spring debut though they are not sold within a 20 minute radius of me....i can't decide if this is a welcome  or just annoying barrier to my chocolate intake (i will not publicly admit how many times i have driven said 20 minutes to get said chocolate in the past week)
4. nick's honeybees are to be found everywhere on the farm these days. this is one of his pictures. i still stay a good distance, convinced they would confuse my blonde hair for a big globule of pollen.