hubris

hu-bris (n.) 
1. excessive and overbearing pride or presumption
2. (in Greek tragedy) an excess of pride ultimately causing the transgressor's ruin

i have to say it, because the sheep, the cows, the chickens, the pigs, the cats, the dogs, and the garden are all at a collective loss for words. i am rocking the solo-farmer week. rocking it. not "rocking" per se the solo-human week.  i ate a box of mint newman os for monday's supper and a bag of potato chips for last night's.  i lobbed off 8 inches of hair mid chores on sunday because i didn't feel like brushing.  i clearly need the man back in my life who insists on basic personal hygiene and good food.

but i am rocking the farm. fixing chicken coop doors. cleaning out nest boxes. putting up dilly beans, and cornichons. schooling our bull like the little lamb he is. the house isn't a tornado. the garden is looking...better. incrementally better. i have only left the washing on the line in the rain twice. the tomato hornworms and japanese beetles have been served a serious blow. the sheep were moved and their pen for the weekend is already set up. the entire perimeter fence for the beef and dairy has been walked and checked for shorts.

i miss nick and very clearly need him here with me despite this overbearing pride of doing it alone. i have little idea of what today will bring or tomorrow or friday. i could be eating my words by the time this week is done with me.

but it feels really really good. very empowering to think, at least for a couple of hours, that i can handle this all myself.